Leaping Off Cliffs
It's been a while since I've even been on here and I suppose everything is gathering dust *achoo*
:)
But, I'm probably not gonna be updating for a while...and it feels sort of like deja vu because I've said this over and over...but just to like, say it again I suppose. I've just lost the will to WANT to update, and every once in a while I'll feel like I should update and then update like crazy...but what with school, and social life, home life...there's rarely a time for me to feel like I should.
I suppose I miss the days when my site was just a small wee little sapling and I didn't really worry about updating or what not. Wow, this blog is gonna be so unorganized but that's okay, I think I'll just start blogging again for the sake of blogging. Maybe just open a blog or something.
I checked my sitemeter and amazingly , I'm still getting some 11 visitors a day. WOW. I hope I can still somewhat help people with my tutorials.
As for my life...I recently confessed to a boy that I liked him :) The couple of days before I did the deed, I was obsessing about what he would say, how he would react, how things would be like afterwards. I felt so nervous, and giddy, that at any moment, I felt like I would puke. Being the curious person that I am...and also not wishing to get hurt...I set out to find out if he liked anyone. It turns out, that after my two friends and I asked him, he did like someone.
It seemed as if time had frozen on that bit. Yet, I breathed a sigh of relief. Knowing what his answer was going to be to me confessing, made the thought of confessing less daunting since I knew what would happen. And yes, I still went ahead and did. Before I did...my friend (being the wonderful person she is, and awfully talented at that) wrote me a poem.
HeartFirst
Off this cliff I'll take a leap,
and find out for myself if the water is deep.
Or if there are rocks waiting at the bottom instead,
But it's worth the risk,
it's better then knowing I fled.
No matter how hard it is,
I'll take this chance,
it's better knowing I tried,
than giving up on romance.
I need to know
and I need to see,
if this is all that we are,
or if there's more to you and me.By Evelina W.
I've always compared confessing to jumping off a cliff blindfolded not knowing if there are rocks or water below...my one friend said there would be big fluffy clouds! Haha xD Those are your friends I suppose :)
So I confessed and we talked on the phone and that was that, it's not awkward, we're still friends, and he knows how I feel. That's all I ask for.
Next time though, everyone...when someone confesses to you, try and remember that it's extremely difficult to put yourself on the line like that. To deliberately make yourself vulnerable to hurt in the hopes that someone will reciprocate their feelings. Don't be mean, and cruel. If you don't feel the same way, say so, don't lead them on, if you do, OBVIOUSLY tell them :)
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This entry was posted on Sunday, January 24th, 2010 at 4:16 PM and is filed under Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
January 24th, 2010 at 9:13 PM
Holy shit. Your back! :) Er... for an uncertain amount of time?
It's great hearing from you again. How are you and how's the life? I had thought that you had fallen off the face of the planet. It has been quite a few months though huh? Still remember me? And how awesome I am? Haha.
I could relate to you with this. Went through that phase for about a year before I confronted him. We had a sort of pause in our friendship for about two weeks before he made up his mind about being in a relationship with me. (He has depression and trust issues.) We have been going out for over a year. It wasn't much of a change in our relationship from before my confession; he was my best friend, still is. The only change is that we get to rape each other without asking. :)
I think that it is wonderful that you got that off your chest and told him and still remained friends. Even though you knew that he has his eyes on someone else. At least now he knows and free of the burden of him not knowing.
P.S. Your friend is a good poet. Most teenagers write horribly, especially poetry.
January 31st, 2010 at 12:34 AM
Yes, yes, yes. Dissect sheep eyeballs were fun. And nasty. You can't even imagine the smell of twelve sheep eye balls in a lab. Haha. And if we could really paint the back of our eyeballs to make our eyes glow... just the thought of our eyeballs hanging out of our sockets, connected with one little piece of skin (nerve that connects our eyeball to our brain)... is slightly... disturbing.
Yeah. Sometimes, after a while of not posting, you just give up on it eh? So much easier and blogging all the time. I try my best to blog at least once a week. So far successful, except for when I left the blogging scene from June-October. Five months!
And cool. I still got the awesome in me. :)
All of my six piercings are on my ears. Three on each side. Left: helix, lobe, lobe. Right: all lobe. I'm hoping to get an industrial on my right ear, and either a lip or an eyebrow piercing next. So much I know. Haha. But I'm not going to become like those people you see on Guinness World Records. I think that's disgusting. Just a few piercings are lovely, too much is just.... no. Haha. Where you got your three piercing? And where do you want your next two to be?
March 22nd, 2010 at 12:39 AM
Dearest kay, you will find someone soon, someone who loves you for everything you are - for now just hang on and wait!x
May 13th, 2010 at 2:58 PM
LOVER!! IT'S TIME TO UPDATE, NO?!
I MISS YOUUU COME BACKKKK ARGH.
IM SO LONELY ON HAVOC ALL BY MYSELF D:
NO ONE'S SITES ARE ACTIVE ANYMORE
T.T
THIS SADDENS ME
:(
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