It's been a while since I've even been on here and I suppose everything is gathering dust *achoo*

:)

But, I'm probably not gonna be updating for a while...and it feels sort of like deja vu because I've said this over and over...but just to like, say it again I suppose. I've just lost the will to WANT to update, and every once in a while I'll feel like I should update and then update like crazy...but what with school, and social life, home life...there's rarely a time for me to feel like I should.

I suppose I miss the days when my site was just a small wee little sapling and I didn't really worry about updating or what not. Wow, this blog is gonna be so unorganized but that's okay, I think I'll just start blogging again for the sake of blogging. Maybe just open a blog or something.

I checked my sitemeter and amazingly , I'm still getting some 11 visitors a day. WOW. I hope I can still somewhat help people with my tutorials.

As for my life...I recently confessed to a boy that I liked him :) The couple of days before I did the deed, I was obsessing about what he would say, how he would react, how things would be like afterwards. I felt so nervous, and giddy, that at any moment, I felt like I would puke. Being the curious person that I am...and also not wishing to get hurt...I set out to find out if he liked anyone. It turns out, that after my two friends and I asked him, he did like someone.

It seemed as if time had frozen on that bit. Yet, I breathed a sigh of relief. Knowing what his answer was going to be to me confessing, made the thought of confessing less daunting since I knew what would happen. And yes, I still went ahead and did. Before I did...my friend (being the wonderful person she is, and awfully talented at that) wrote me a poem.

HeartFirst

Off this cliff I'll take a leap,
and find out for myself if the water is deep.
Or if there are rocks waiting at the bottom instead,
But it's worth the risk,
it's better then knowing I fled.
No matter how hard it is,
I'll take this chance,
it's better knowing I tried,
than giving up on romance.
I need to know
and I need to see,
if this is all that we are,
or if there's more to you and me.

By Evelina W.

I've always compared confessing to jumping off a cliff blindfolded not knowing if there are rocks or water below...my one friend said there would be big fluffy clouds! Haha xD Those are your friends I suppose :)

So I confessed and we talked on the phone and that was that, it's not awkward, we're still friends, and he knows how I feel. That's all I ask for.

Next time though, everyone...when someone confesses to you, try and remember that it's extremely difficult to put yourself on the line like that. To deliberately make yourself vulnerable to hurt in the hopes that someone will reciprocate their feelings. Don't be mean, and cruel. If you don't feel the same way, say so, don't lead them on, if you do, OBVIOUSLY tell them :)

I think everyone has amazing replying comments powers. It's crazy. It takes me around an hour+ to reply back to all of my comments, and when I'm done. I'm pooped and don't wanna update. So sorry if it takes a day or two for me to reply. It's just priorities. Update/Comments. I'm gonna have to do a balancing act. *sighs*

New years?! What the hell Kay? Are you losing your mind? Going crazy? Most likely on drugs?!

Probably all of the above. But it also is really New Year's! Just not necessarily the world wide New Year's that everyone else celebrates at the beginning of January 1. Nope, this is the Chinese New Year. While with mainly the same idea of celebrating a Whole New Year, there are definite differences in traditions.

For example, we don't stay up counting down the minutes until the New Year...well we do but we actually watch the New Year's Festival on T.V. Doesn't sound that amazing? Oh it is! It's a huge ceremony held every year in Beijing that features only the most spectacular of performances. (I wonder why I wasn't in it? *sigh* Guess they couldn't handle me...Joking! Don't think I'm obnoxious or something o_O)

This year's performance featured some well known artists/performers in China such as Jay Chou (Yah so he's the only person I know by name. sue me), trapeze artists, magicians, and comedians. It was an incredibly display full of shiny lights and moving stages. I just think that it must be really hard to top it off every year!

By the way, this year is the year of the Ox. What Zodiac symbol are you?

Anyways, onto the second part of my title. SUGAR.

Oh yesh. To start off the New Chinese Year, I've become addicted to sugar. I put it on everything now; I sprinkle my toast with it, I dip my fruit in it, I even dissolve some in my water! That's how bad it's become!

For this New Year, I vow to cut down on the sugar....ohlordy

What about everyone else hmm? Anyone got some weird little addictions hiding in the closet? I'm not talking about drug addiction either (but if you do, please seek help) just like if you're addicted to chewing on your pencils (also me), playing with danger, or even bananas!

P.S. My fingers are itching to make a new layout...and I would ask you guys for color schemes but that just doesn't work, why would you want to give up your own color scheme for moi? Yah I'm in your head. I just feel sort of worried that I wouldn't be able to top this one....*sighs*

Updates!

• Finished my Portfolio
• Valentine's Premade!
• Contest Judging Finished!